What It is Like (story #1) NYC

I was recently having trouble getting to sleep when an idea for a new addition to my blog came to me. I thought it might be helpful to try to describe to people what it is like to actually deal with an illness like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The particular nature of OCD, along with other mental illnesses, is that it can appear to be nonexistent to those who don't live with it. This translates to the idea that while on the outside a sufferer may appear "normal" or seemingly "fine", he or she may be tormented inside. I think I, along with the millions of others who live with a mental illness on a daily basis can understand what I am talking about when I say we learn how to hide our true emotions on the outside in order to function in our daily life, whether it is during a good day or a difficult one. This at times can be the most challenging part of the illness itself. My goal as part of this blog is to try to help people attempt to understand these attacks and how they can affect people like myself.


Story #1

I recently had a meeting at Deutsche Bank in NYC. It had turned out to be an incredible opportunity to speak about their potential involvement with PeaceLove Studios. I was fortunate enough to meet with an executive that was enlightened about the power of the arts and all the opportunities it has the ability to present. Needless to say, as I was leaving the meeting I was pumped with excitement and enthusiasm. Unfortunately, my illness seems to feed off robbing me of my peace of mind during these seemingly perfect moments in life. As I walked from their offices to my hotel on an absolutely beautiful spring-like day I should have been enjoying and relishing the moment but instead I was plagued by anxiety over something that had been said in the meeting, while simultaneously trying to remember something trivial that was spoke of in the presentation. This eventually led me to Macy's, where they happen to be debuting their stunning holiday window display. Rather than enjoying the aesthetics as well as the mood, I stood there frozen as the only way I can compare the anxiety I felt is with that of a parent who has lost their child in a busy airport. That is the anxiety I felt over something absolutely ridiculous, and the worst part is I knew it!!

A few days later I was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade which was being broadcasted from that exact spot I had stood frozen with my thoughts. It made me really stop and think about how powerful and real these attacks and illnesses are to the people who struggle with them.

I hope this helps.